In a chaotic world, Bishop David Bard invites us to stay grounded in resilient love as we care for one another, even in disagreement…
How many of you remember past Februarys when you pasted colored construction paper over a shoebox, cutting a hole in the top and drawing hearts on the sides? This was the box for your valentines, which you brought to school along with cards for every student in your class. You put cards in their box, and they put cards in your box. Maybe you asked your parents, “Do I have to give a card to [insert name]?” about someone in your class you did not care for. Of course, the answer from your parents was, “Yes, you do.” There is a good lesson on love in that. In the economy of God’s love, everyone deserves dignity and respect.
Love is the topic of many novels, movies, poems, and songs. While most are enjoyable, not every artistic work about love, and not every statement about love, is insightful or helpful. Years ago, in the movie Love Story, a main character said, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” It sounded nice in the film, but it is horribly bad advice. Any of us who have been married for any length of time know that saying sorry is part of the relationship. Being able to apologize is an important part of love.
The familiar saying, “Love is blind,” can be insightful. When we are “in love,” it is easy to overlook something in the one we love. At its best, this is rather benign. None of us is perfect, and any long-term love relationship includes being able to overlook small faults and annoyances. Does it really matter if your spouse never learned to squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom? We should see our spouse in their best light. At its worst, however, a person “madly in love” may overlook deeply hurtful or even abusive behavior. They may love, but they are not being loved. If you are in such a relationship, there are resources to help.
While a certain kind of romantic love may be “blind,” the essence of love is just the opposite. Love isn’t really blind. It is clear-eyed and resilient. Paul’s prayer for the followers of Jesus at Ephesus includes a prayer that the eyes of their hearts might be enlightened. Love is intended to be wise and clear-eyed. Love is not blind. It is open-eyed and resilient.
I often think of resilient and clear-eyed love in February when the month that includes its celebration also marks Black History Month. I love my country, and I want to see it clear-eyed, honestly, including the times when we have failed to live up to our promise. In his famous August 28, 1963, speech, “I Have a Dream,” the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., said: “In a sense we’ve come to our nation’s capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. . . . It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned.” We have not always lived up to our promise. The Black poet Langston Hughes wrote a powerful poem expressing his desire for America to be America, but noted, “America never was America to me.”
I want a love for this country that is clear-eyed and resilient, a love that sees our history with all its joys, beauty, and achievements and its failings, shortcomings, and brutalities. We are a country whose history includes slavery, segregation, and mistreatment of indigenous people, immigrants, and migrants. We put Japanese-American citizens in internment camps during World War II. My hometown of Duluth, Minnesota, witnessed a lynching of three black men in 1920, a story I never heard until I was well into adulthood.
Speaking of clear-eyed love, many of us are now aware of the Right Rev. Mariann Edgar Budde, bishop for the Episcopal Diocese of Washington, who preached at a prayer service the day after Inauguration Day. President Donald Trump and Vice President JD Vance were in attendance, and Bishop Budde concluded her sermon with a direct plea to the president for mercy for those frightened and vulnerable, specifically naming LGBTQ and migrant persons. Many have seen those last moments, but they need to be put into the context of her entire sermon, in which she speaks of national unity rooted in honoring the inherent dignity of all, in honesty, and in humility. She speaks of unity as a way of being with one another and genuinely caring for one another, even in disagreement. Click here to watch her entire fifteen-minute sermon.
Reaction to her sermon was swift, including scathing remarks from the president. In response, Bishop Budde said she hoped to encourage a different conversation and broaden the characterization of migrants. She said she wants the church to be a conscience and a consolation. Vitriol toward and threats against Bishop Budde have continued. A bill has been introduced in the U.S. House of Representatives condemning her sermon.
You may disagree with some of Bishop Budde’s statements. I hope, though, that you will see her sermon as grounded in clear-eyed love. She wanted to call attention to the frightened and vulnerable in our country. Isn’t caring for the frightened, the vulnerable, and the least something the church has been doing for centuries? I hope you will see Bishop Budde standing in the tradition of the prophets, Jesus, and faith-informed reformers like Martin Luther King, Jr.
I hope you will do this not for Bishop Budde’s sake but for our ministry together for Jesus Christ in the Michigan Conference. We have challenges ahead as we seek to live out God’s love in Jesus Christ, a love that heals, frees, and redeems. We will need to look clear-eyed at where we have not lived up to our professions of faith. We will need to speak the truth in love to one another and to the world. If we are going to have a positive impact on the wider world in the name of Jesus, we will need to find ways to work for and speak for justice and the common good. Such work and speech will take us to places where others will disagree. We need to find ways to disagree in love.
God loves us in Jesus Christ with a love that is clear-eyed. God sees us as we are and loves us. God loves us in Jesus Christ with a love that is resilient, a love that does not give up on us. May we live with the same kind of love for one another and for the world. Love is not blind. It is clear-eyed and resilient.